Thailand is my first stop on the journey. Will I stay? Will I keep it moving?
I have no idea what i'm doing
But I'm going to figure it out. I could say coming to Thailand started with a text but it really started in the months of discomfort before that text. Getting here was a journey in and of itself. I'm writing this in retrospect because when I arrived I wasn't open to sharing, I was completely in need of receiving. I had no idea if I'd ever share because I just needed space & time to myself.
Over the next hour we'd speak four languages between the three of us, share one chocolate fried cake, and connect on levels only possible with perfect strangers, our most immediate denominator?
My melaninted sisters and brothers I was not ready for these Southeast Asian Soi's and I want to make sure you and your melanin are.
I didn't know if I would stay in Thailand, I just knew I wanted to get to Thailand. What kind of Visa is there for that?
A few nights ago while headed to have dinner with friends I flipped over the handlebars of my motorbike.
One, why are there so many white people? I was still experiencing PTED, being surrounded by entitled white Americans abroad was the last thing I wanted.
That's exactly what I said. I teared up a bit and just sat in that feeling for awhile. No Facebook. No Snapchat. Just me, feeling my accomplishment.
What i learned
- It's ok to take time & space for yourself.
- Just because you fall doesn't mean you haven't made progress.
- I really like motorbikes.
- I need the energy of people as much as I need alone time. Both recharge me.
- There are a lot of Black people in Chiang Mai.
- Bangkok & Chiang Mai are not the same.
- I am a masterpiece.
- Being lost externally isn't the same as being lost internally.